Humor
Pipe
Specification:
All pipe is to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or
plastic centered around the hole.
All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not
use holes of different length to form the pipe.
The ID (Inside Diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the OD
(Outside Diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.
All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so that
water, steam or other materials may be put inside at a later
date.
All pipe should be supplied without rust; this can be more
readily applied at the job site. NOTE: Some vendors are now able
to supply pre-rusted pipes. If available in your area, this
product is recommended, as it will save a great deal of time at
the job site.
All pipe over 500ft (150m) in length should have the words
"LONG PIPE" clearly painted on each side and end, so
that the contractor knows it's a long pipe.
Pipe over 2 miles (3.2km) in length must also have the words
"LONG PIPE" painted in the middle, so the contractor
will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine
whether or not it is a long pipe or a short pipe.
All pipe over 6ft (1.83m) in diameter must have the words
"LARGE PIPE" painted on it, so the contractor will not
mistake it for small pipe.
Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for
bolts, quite separate from the big hole in the middle.
When ordering 90 or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify
left-hand or right-hand, otherwise you will end up going the
wrong way.
Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill
or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipes for going uphill, the
water will flow the wrong way.
All couplings should have either right-hand or left-hand threads,
but do not mix the threads otherwise, as the coupling is being
screwed on one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the other.
All pipes shorter than 1/8 in (3 mm) are very uneconomical in
use, requiring many joints. They are generally known as washers.
Joints in pipes for piping water must be water-tight. Those in
pipes for compressed air, however, need only be air-tight.
Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together. This method
is not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.
Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include:
conduit, tube, tunnel and drain. Use only genuine pipes.
Scottish Regiments in the Army use Army pipes in unusual ways.
These are not approved of in engineering circles
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Updated 22 May 1997