Humor
...You Might
Be a Trekker...
1. If you've ever been in a fist fight over
who is better: Captain Picard or Captain Kirk.
2. If you think that Captain Janeway is sexier
than Princess Leia...
3. If your fantasy includes Lt. Uhura sitting on
the edge of your bed saying "Hailing frequencies open".
4. If your screen saver says "Resistance is
futile, you will be assimilated"...
5. If you find yourself in a jam and say
"Scotty, beam me up!"...
6. If you believe that Ross Perot owns a copy of
the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition...
7. If you believe Ross Perot is a Ferengi...
8. If someone says good morning to you and you
answer "Ka Plah!"...
9. If you know the proper Vulcan greeting and
response...
10. If you can tell the difference between a
Vulcan and a Romulan...
11. If you can name all the people who have ever
been captain of the Enterprise...
12. If you think Q-Tips is a self-help book
written by a certain Star Trek villain...
13. If you have the Klingon version of Hooked on
Phonics...
14. If you find a hairball and think it's a
Tribble...
15. If you believe there is an alternate
universe where you are captain of the Enterprise.
16. If you learned to pick up women by watching
Captain Kirk...
17. If you keep flipping open your cell phone
hoping to get a comunique from Scotty...
18. If you hear someone say "he's an
enterprising young man," and you look for his communicator.
19. If you get in your car and say engage...
20. If you believe George Lucas is the
Anti-Christ...
21. If your girlfriend tells you "it's
either me or Star Trek!" and you wave good-bye...
22. If you think Hillary Clinton would look good
in Lt. Uhura's uniform...
23. If you wrote in James T. Kirk for President
with running mate Pavel Chekov...
24. If you walk into your kitchen and look for a
replicator...
25. If you think Kahless will come back before
Jesus Christ...
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Updated 22 May 1997